framesjanco:

A Doctoral Thesis on the Similarities Between a Person’s Favored Member of One Direction and That Person’s Personality

Harry Styles:

People who say that Harry is their favorite member of One Direction are horny fucks. Let’s face it, we all went into liking this band thinking that we would favor one member, and then we slowly dispersed into our personality group; anyone that publicly admits to being horny a lot is probably a Harry fan. Not only are Harry Styles’ fans horny, they’re very blunt about it. Styles’ fans are the ones that will read lots and lots of mature fanfics about him, remark about how perfect his hands are, and have no problems describing, in detail, what they would do to him. Harry fans may be more flirtatious than other fans, only because they know what they want and often risk going for it. On the other hand, though, there are some closeted Harry fans that remain timid even though they can’t close their eyes without imagining Harry’s dick in their mouth. Harry fans tend to be overtly pretentious and they have no issues speaking their opinion, even if everyone else disagrees. Most of them swear a lot. Harry fans, in terms of interaction with one another, go one of two ways: they either get along really well and ignore the fact that they both want the same One Direction member, or they act like they get along really well, when in reality, both of them want to light the other on fire and send them to space. There may be a fine line between these two ways, and it is possible to begin as one sort of way and end the other.

Liam Payne:

Anyone that chooses Liam as their favorite member is most likely a prude. The main attraction to Liam is that he’s innocent and sweet, while still being handsome and manly. People that like Liam like him for his dad-like quality and most Liam fans are pretty calm. That’s not to say they don’t have their moments; but generally, Liam fans are the sensible fans. Also, Liam fans are more mature than other fans as most of them accept Danielle with Liam as part of a package and realize that he’s not single. The people that like Liam still find things really attractive about him (his smile, his muscles) but these things are generally less sexually driven than with the other members. Liam fans don’t really fight over him, as they realize that that’s not what he’d want. There are still a few crazy Liam fans who want him to bend them over and sing high notes to them, but for the most part, these people are pretty collected. Liam fans are the people most likely to be friends with any other fans, because Liam is usually surpassed as “the boring one” and so not many people claim Liam as their favorite, which leads to more satisfied, humbled Liam fans.

Louis Tomlinson:

This is the toughest one to decipher. There are a few types of Louis fans, and I’ve decided on naming three types.
Type number one: people that barely know the band. These fans are people that know a few songs and maybe know all of the members and have decided that Louis is the most accessible. He seems the nicest and funniest, and everyone in the band generally likes him equally. These people won’t read this post, for one, but they also don’t think that there’s anything that great about the band. They definitely think Louis is the most attractive and dresses the best. These people are pretty apathetic about the entire situation. It’s hard to categorize them because Louis fans are usually grouped as “other fans” in my opinion.
Type number two: people that have been fans of every member at least once and have decided on Louis being their final favorite. These fans have gone through Harry/Liam/Zayn/Niall stages, but have ultimately decided that Louis is the most attractive, funniest, and even, best at singing. These are usually diehard fans, and admitting that Louis is their favorite can be a difficult thing to do. These fans are easily morphed from the Harry fans aforementioned, which means that these type number two fans are also horny and blunt, only now it’s directed at Lou’s suspenders and his effortless haircut. These fans have no problems reading/writing Larry fanfiction and look for every opportunity to ship them together.
Type number three: somewhere in-between the diehard, gradual Louis fans and the barely-caring fans falls type number threes. Threes embrace Louis’ homosexual tendencies, yet somehow claim that he’s straight and they continuously explain that they want to have sex with him. His dapper looks matched with his contagious sense of humor culminate with Louis being the best member of One Direction. These fans are probably the craziest, as in they look for any opportunity to make a comment about something Louis says or does that seems ridiculous (see: suspenders, period pants, Ugg boots, Louis in glasses, Toms). The one thing all Louis fans have in common, though, is the persistent denial that Louis isn’t the best. Louis fans get incredibly defensive when someone dismisses Louis as unimportant or unnecessary.

Niall Horan:

Niall fans are the best fans in my opinion (and I am not a Niall fan). Niall fans are the funniest fans. They could tell any story about Niall and make it into a comedic tour. Niall fans like him because of his odd, spunky Irish roots, and probably because Niall is the most under the radar-ed member of One Direction. He doesn’t sing often, and he isn’t as outrageous as some of the other members, but this is the reason these people love him. Niall fans are incredibly creative (searching the Niall Horan tag and you’ll find plenty of nicknames for him such as ‘human embodiment of sunshine, puppies and kittens and rainbows, irish leprechaun, goldilocks, old yeller’) and this stems from the fact that Niall is most giggly member of One Direction. His laughter is super contagious which is what draws the fans to him as well. I’d label a lot of Niall fans as “alternative,” and by that I mean they generally don’t fit the stereotype of a One Direction fan. Niall fans can be really crazy or they can be really calm. They can be into Niall for his looks, voice, guitar skills, sense of humor, or accent. It’s diversified, and usually it’s a combination of two or three traits. Overall, Niall fans are the most easily impressed and the most easily shocked, but also the quickest to pick up on things that otherwise go unnoticed (like Niall himself). Niall fans love everyone, even other Niall fans. Just like Niall. One big Irish family just raising some lambs on a farm in Dublin.

Zayn Malik:

*Let me start out with a disclaimer: this will be a mixed feelings summary.
Fans of Zayn Malik tend to be narcissistic assholes. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself, and there is nothing wrong with being an asshole. Zayn fans just are. They are the cockiest fans and the fans that are most likely to care about their looks. There are a few shy Zayn fans but I’m convinced they’re just confused Liam fans. People that claim Zayn as their favorite are the types of people who are generally really attractive. They know they’re attractive (sound like a One Direction member, perhaps?). These people are usually sensual—not horny, like Harry fans—meaning they talk about the attractive aspects of Zayn without going overboard. Zayn fans discuss his eyebrows and hair, teeth and smile, and his fashion sense (also recently, possibly, his penis). For the most part, people that like Zayn will describe what they love about Zayn but won’t go too into detail about it because they feel it’s unnecessary. Zayn fans have no qualms about fighting each other for Zayn’s affection and most of them heave a heavy sigh of relief when someone announces that Zayn isn’t their favorite as this results in “less competition.”